Things Not to Say During Sex

But everybody looks funny naked!
You woke me up for that?
Did I mention the video camera?
Do you smell something burning?
A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
But whipped cream makes me break out.
Can you please pass me the remote control?
Do you accept Visa?
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
And to think -- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
So much for mouth-to-mouth.
Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
Do you get any premium movie channels?
Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
But I just brushed my teeth...
I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
I want a baby!
I think you have it on backwards.
You're good enough to do this for a living!
Did I remember to take my pill?
Are you positively sure I don't know you from somewhere?
That leak better be from the waterbed!
If you quit smoking you just might have more endurance.
No, really... I do this part better myself!
You're almost as good as my ex!
Did you come yet, dear?
My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
How long do you plan to be ''almost there''?
You mean you're NOT my blind date?