Ethel

Two women were talking about their lives since they had become Nursing Home residents. They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died out since she and her husband had come to the nursing home. The other woman said that her sex life was great! "I put both legs behind my head. When he comes out and sees me like that he gets so excited! We have wild sex all night!" "Is that right?" said Ethel. "Well, then, I'm going to try that tonight!"

That evening, while Ethel's husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed, she takes off all her clothes. And although it's a struggle, she manages to get one leg up and behind her head. With some effort, she finally gets the other leg behind her head as well. No sooner has she accomplished this great feat, Ethel falls backwards and can't move.

It's not too long before her husband comes out of the bathroom. With a shocked look on his face, he yells "For God's sake, Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you look like an asshole!"