Privates

Toby and Chris have been promoted from privates to sergeants.

Not long after, they're out for a walk and Toby says, "Hey, Chris, there's the Officer's Club. Let's you and me stop in."

"But we're privates," protests Chris.

"We're sergeants now," says Toby, pulling him inside. "Now, Chris, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drink."

"But we're privates," says Chris.

"You blind?" asks Toby, pointing at his stripes. "We're sergeants now."

So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Toby. "Your cute," she says, "and I'd like to screw you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea." Toby pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Chris, go look in the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."

So Chris goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Toby the big okay sign.

Three weeks later Toby is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea.

"Chris," he says, "Why'd you give me the okay?"

"Well, Toby, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhea affects only the privates." He points to his stripes. "But we're sergeants now."