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Steak and sex are two of my favorite things. I have them both the same way – bloody and rare.

Ten Ways Steak is Better Than Sex

10) A bruised eye heals faster with rotten steak than rotten pussy.

9) That’s the only meat your wife allows you to beat.

8) The hole in the rib-eye is much tighter than the hole in your cat.

7) Steak is better burnt around the pink than pussy.

6) Steak juices taste better than your wife’s juices.

5) After your done eat’n steak, you don’t get little curly hairs in your teeth.

4) You don’t get that empty feeling when you order steak at the hotel.

3) You can’t get arrested for eating premature steak.

2) Saucy steak – Good. Saucy Wife – Bad.

1) Your wife is not 100% fat free. Guaranteed!