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A young, fat, streetsmart, brunette married a skinny rich Texas oil tycoon. Two months later he asked her to bend over so he could inspect her land line.

Needless to say, she was very cautious and apprehensive about flipping over and being inspected, but she did it anyways.

“Looks like a winner!” The Texas tycoon said.

The Woman quickly turned around and replied, “Your not using that tiny piledriver.
Are you?”

Storming into his lawyer's office, the Texas oil tycoon demanded that some divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride. "What's the problem?"

"I want to hit that adulterin' bitch for breach of contract," snapped the oil man. "I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!"

"Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect exclusive drillin' rights!